There is a deep need in each of our hearts for unconditional love and acceptance. I cannot believe how many girls I talk to who experience such insecurity in ways that I would never have thought as I look at them and interact with them and see how amazing they are, only to discover that they are not that much different than me. We are all just people. We all have insecurity, we are all unsure about new things, we are all hesitant when we do not know the for sure outcome of a situation and often prone to inactivity due to our fears of failure or rejection, and admitting these things is good! Admitting insecurity is good, and essential to growth, but staying there is not okay. It’s not okay because Christ wants us to be free, He longs for us to open our hearts to one another and not be so consumed with our insecurity that we’re incapable of truly connecting with others. I remember hearing the phrase once “when you face what you fear, you become fearless” and it’s so true. To just step out and do what I’m not so comfortable with is very healthy, and as we entrust ourselves to the Lord in this way, He makes us stronger regardless of the outcome and our willingness to obey regardless of our insecurity gives our insecurities even less power. To be willing to be vulnerable about our insecurities and weaknesses with one another and be met with love and graciousness and acceptance in those areas I think it is essential to healthy relationships and truly experiencing community as the Father so longs for us to experience.
I remember a time when I was so insecure about the way my voice sounded, granted I feel my voice is pretty unique, but I was not okay with that and if I listened to myself while talking (hmmm… you know what I mean right?) I would shy away and grow insecure and stop talking, or dare I say, if I heard a recording of myself (who likes that anyway!?). But then I’ll never forget, I knew this guy and I had never said anything about my insecurity in this area but he very sincerely told me how much he loved my voice and really went on about how much he loved hearing me talk and specifically my voice. Seriously!?!? I think from the ways we were created in our physical selves, but also in our gifts and talents and skills we need to see each other. As I look back over the last couple years of my life I see substantial growth in my creativity and eye for detail, and it was largely grown through a friendship in which not only did we enjoy creative things together but her specific encouragement to me and insight into what I was doing has opened the way in my ability to bend the way the Lord created me. I believe we need to see each other the way Jesus does, to see the gifts that he’s given them and encourage those gifts and make room for people to grow in the gifts that they have, however rough they may still be.
We think must see specific things in one another that we appreciate, not just a general, “oh you’re so great” but really “seeing” one another and really connecting with each other and going out of our way to show kindness and appreciation. The other day, I was enjoying a wonderfully quiet evening in solitude (very good for the soul) at home and there was a knock on the door (one of my favorite things, surprise visitors) and it was a man who is like a father to me and his sweet smile and warm hug were a gift in themselves but then he gave me a card, he just wanted to stop by and say hi and give me this card. As he left I sat down to enjoy the card and began reading it and he specifically pointed out specific areas of growth and beauty and freedom that I’ve been feeling the Lord working in me but to hear his words and to know he saw me, that was overwhelming and that freedom and thankfulness to God just increased. I think that’s something that I pray for and love to point out in others, the things that I truly appreciate and enjoy about them, those things often being things that may be a source of insecurity but are such a blessing to those around us. It’s important to articulate our affections for one another not only in our behavior but also clearly through words, not contrived but sincere and simple. Instead of walking into a room saying “here I am” let’s walk in saying “oh there you are.” This approach seems to definitely make life and friendship more enjoyable and more life-giving.
The Lord clearly tells us that he loves to hear our voices and he loves to see our faces, he loves when we speak to him, he loves when we lock eyes with him, he loves being with us. I just like to sit with these verses often for a while…
Song of Solomon 1:9, 2:14 “O my love he said as he saw her, you remind me of my favorite mare in the chariot spans of Pharaoh …O my dove, while you are here in the seclusion of the clefts in the solid rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.”
may this next season of your life be filled with a deep appreciation for who God has made those around you to be as well as a deep rest and appreciation for who God has made you to be… enjoy the journey! 🙂
Learning to love and value each other…
xoxo | katee grace